In my previous two blogs I brought to you what the Holy Spirit was speaking to my heart regarding love and prayer. I'll bet if you haven't read them you are completely intrigued right now (sarcasm intended). But wait, sometimes God chooses to speak profound things to us through simple words, concepts and through simple people. So, here I am, about as simple as it gets. I encourage you to read the earlier chronicles, if you haven't done so. It will help you better understand this writing.
Among the twisted twigs at the family farm God gave me a list of actions to take that would move me into his perfect will for my life. I have found writing about these things fairly easy, until now. The third item he put on my "to do list " was to put all meaningless things behind me. My thought, as I wrote it down was "what does that even mean?" So, I waited a few days to write about it. This is the hardest one so far. I believe everything in my life has meaning or I wouldn't do it, right? How am I supposed to recognize meaningless things and put them behind me? Even as I write this I am searching and believing that words will come forth from my heart that I don't know are there.
Meaningless, aimless, futile, empty, hollow, useless, unproductive. . . I was never asked by my parents or my Sunday school teacher to make a list of meaningless things, so I wasn't prepared for this task. This has taken a deep excavation of my soul and has required of me to be quite vulnerable before you. Here is my list:
Reputation
Since I was a little girl my parents instilled in me the most important thing is your reputation. For years I believed that. They meant well, and I know their intentions were good, but that was not correct. Jesus did not care so much about his reputation. He ate with the sinners, bucked the Pharisees, and basically did righteous things that upset people. He cared more about what his Father thought than what people thought. Most of my life I have been a people pleaser. Sometimes it was so important to be accepted by whomever I was with that I would just become like them. Instant friends right? Not really. I was kind of like a human chameleon. Thankfully, that became less often the older I get, but that tendency still comes to the surface from time to time.
Acceptance/Rejection
As a youngster being rejected scared me so much it made me weird. I remember in the third grade I had a pack of gum. Back then if you had gum on you at school, you were a cool dude. A piece of gum in middle school would go for up to a dollar. I should have become an entrepreneur back then. Darn, too bad it is hind site that is 20/20. But, anyway back to my story. I had this pack of gum. I asked one of my friends if she wanted a piece of it. Heck, I wasn't even looking to sell it. It was a gift! She said "no thank you." What? No thank you? Who in their right mind turns down Juicy Fruit? My heart was broken. In my little mind her passing on my offer meant I was ugly, uncool, stinky, undesirable, well you get the picture. Do you know to this day, I still think twice before I can offer anyone a piece of gum or anything for that matter? Okay now that IS weird. But it goes to show you how our past makes an impact on our present and ultimately our future.
I have a picture of my four year old self that my Daddy carried in his wallet for 42 years. We found it in his wallet after he passed away. It is just a small snapshot of me standing by the window with my right hand on my hip, posing as if I think I am pretty important. I carry it in my wallet today. My parents told my siblings and I we were special. So, I thought I was just born exceptional. (Ta Dah!) What I didn't realize is you have to plan and study, and you know do things to become that way. I enjoyed kudos and applause. I didn't necessarily want to work for them, but I wanted to be extraordinary. Take piano for example. I would spend hours on the piano every day driving my family absolutely bat doo doo crazy. I would drone songs out in the key of C with my foot glued to the sustain pedal. Yes, I was practicing, but I was practicing what I wanted to play. I was not following proper technique and certainly wasn't reading what was on the staff. In fact, I spent most of my piano lessons talking to my piano teachers. I was kind of an old soul from an early age. Talking was much easier for me than performing an unpracticed minuet for my teacher. Tea? That is laziness awaiting a reward. Probably isn't going to happen. Don't you love the way I get off base with my stories?
Anyway, I have learned in my life that it doesn't matter what we do, how talented or gifted we are, how beautiful or unique we are, some people are going to love us and some are not. There will be people who don't like me just because of the way God put my nose on my face. It's just life. Not everyone is my tribe. So, I have concluded that acceptance and popularity are in the scheme of things. . . meaningless.
Possessions/money
How about possessions and money? I have burned a lot of years in my life either worshiping money because I didn't have it or worshiping it because I did. And by worship I don't mean I would put a pile of bills on an altar, burning some kind of animal and chanting "Hail to the Almighty Dollar." But what I do mean is I would think about it- a lot! I would give it more thought than the One who should be occupying my thoughts. Shoot, I would worry about not having the next month's car payment three weeks before it was due. I would stew on it before I was even hurt. To meditate on it, whether it be because there is too little or too much can wreck your life. Please don't take me wrong here. Money is a good thing when it is funneled through the hands of someone who gives and does good things. And truly nothing thrills me more than to see people acquire nice things they enjoy. Heck, I like nice things too! Honestly though, things that we are not going to take with us are futile.From what I gather what God is asking me to do by putting money and the possessions it buys behind me, is to reconsider what is eternally valuable and make my earthly decisions based on that.
The Past
Now, here's the biggie! The memory of our past is something that ensnares a lot of people. We can't seem to let it go. Someone hurt or betrayed us, made us mad, or wronged us in some way. We lost a job, or we were asked to leave a church for whatever reason (yeah, it happened to my family, but that's a story for another time).We lost someone very dear to us before it was his or her time. We were treated poorly as a child, molested, beaten, or verbally abused. But, may I suggest the pain of the past is meaningless? Let me ask you this. Is letting former things torment you going to get you anywhere when it comes to the future? Is it going to help you in your climb to wherever it is you are going? Most likely not, so it is imperative we let go of those things in order to move on with life. Clinging to hurtful memories can be debilitating. I find myself three weeks later worrying about what I did wrong at the old job. How could I have failed so miserably? Then the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit says "Are you looking back?" Immediately I realize I am wasting time by replaying something I cannot change. A meaningless waste of precious time. I enjoy bringing up things from my past that make me happy! That is worthwhile. Even things that are painful that have taught me something are valuable. But if we resurrect the past just to meditate on things that are hurtful or unpleasant it stifles us and often causes bitterness. So, I ask you now to go into your family room, get out your daughter's Frozen movie, and sing a long, Let it Go!
There you have it! My list of meaningless things. I have studied, meditated, and crossed each one off my list. Everyday will be an intentional effort to not let these things back in to my life. I want nothing more than to find my Father's ultimate will for my life. What did he have in mind when he was knitting me together in my Mama's womb? I ask you to ask the Holy Spirit for your own set of meaningless things that need to be extracted from your life. It will probably be difficult for you too. Once you do the digging, I'll bet you'll find it liberating as you weed out the unnecessary things that are hindering you.
Grace and peace be with you my friend.
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